Waiting for Lunch

I had the "pleasure" of fasting from breakfast for the last forty days. I suppose for some people skipping breakfast is not a big deal. Super models, for example, or perhaps, people with a super-human ability to not care about being hungry. I, however, am closer to a hobbit when it comes to the issue of breakfast. Cereal, oatmeal, eggs, toast, pancakes, french toast, or casseroles, it doesn’t matter, I just really like it. In fact for most of my college career, my go to evening meal was Coco Puffs because they are awesome and delicious. So you can see why not eating breakfast would be a bit of a challenge for me. However, in a moment of lunacy great spiritual insight, when our pastor called for a churchwide time of prayer and fasting, I chose to forego breakfast. 

Here is what I learned…

1. Fasting is always less an exercise of the stomach than an indication of the heart. Fasting from food is hard. I understand that’s a slight understatement, but it is. It just plain is. Food, for the vast majority of humanity is very important and we get very grumpy when we don’t have it. And by “we” I mean “me.” 
God hard wired my brain to require nourishment to function properly and when food is found lacking, I get a leeettle testy. That testiness often leads to, well, an expression of said feeling, which is a no go when you are fasting for prayer purposes. Jesus was all over this…

"When you fast, do not look somber as the hypocrites do, for they disfigure their faces to show others they are fasting...But when you fast, put oil on your head and wash your face, so that it will not be obvious to others that you are fasting, but only to your Father…” -Matthew 6:16-18

If I decide to fast for the purposes of praying for something specific, then that is between me and God. Period. Jesus says the second I put on a show about how hungry I am and how, bless my heart, I’m doing it for Jesus (as if its some kind of favor to him) then it’s all for naught. Pride has no place in the throne room of the King.

2. Fasting is always less an exercise of the will than it is an act of obedience.  I’m a pretty good rule follower. In fact, I’m a great rule follower, which can make me really boring sometimes. It seems like, however, any time I’ve decided to fast from food or abstained from something for the purpose of prayer, I turn into a world class felon. Here’s the internal dialogue that started around day two or three of the forty days…

Hmmm… I’m hungry. It’s 9:30. No big deal. I can make it. Three more hours until lunch.

(10 min later)

Ok, now I’m really hungry. So, are juice and coffee ok on this fasting thing because I could really go for something wet...

(double checks fasting bulletin insert and drinks some oj then puts on a pot of coffee)

(30 min later)

I'm still hungry. Starving, in fact. Ok, self, that’s just dumb. What do you tell the kids? You’re not starving you’re just really, really hungry. You are NOT going to die because you didn’t eat breakfast. Think of all the women in the third world who eat rice cakes and hopelessness for breakfast. Get a grip.

(self admonishment works for 10 min or so)

Nope. Still starv….really, really hungry….so, when is lunch time technically? Micah eats lunch at school just before 11am, so do I really have to wait until noon? 

The whole thing is just embarrassing. Ludacris, really. No one, outside of my husband, knew what I had chosen to do, so I could have eaten away and no one would have been the wiser. Except for the teeny, tiny fact that I had told God I would not eat breakfast. Oops. What it comes down to, is that I am not capable of following through on a promise to the One who created me, loved me while I was still a dirty, rotten sinner, and sent His Son to earth to die for me so that I could experience abundant life here and with Him for eternity. 

In His omnipotence, God knows this. He knows we don’t do rules well. In fact, the Law was there to show us just how terrible we are at following the rules God has set up for our well being. With the Fall came rebellion, but with Jesus came grace and, ultimately, reconciliation. 

“For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God, and all are justified freely by his grace through the redemption that came by Christ Jesus.” -Romans 3:23-24 

Please don't think I'm advocating blatant disregard for our promises to God. On the contrary, Scripture is pretty clear that we need to do what we say we are going to do. However, as long as we are on this side of the dirt, we are going to fail. Guaranteed. The good news is that Jesus doesn't need us to be perfect (He's got that covered), He just needs us to be obedient.

3. Fasting, when done right, always yields results. In retrospect, I can see that the last forty days were a very spiritually productive time. I was far more diligent in my prayer time, an area I’ve always struggled with, and, not surprisingly, I was more attuned to God’s voice. The LORD provided me with verse after verse to help me through the loooong mornings (insert eyeroll), teaching me that He is, in fact, the One who sustains me. Areas of my life that were hidden by indifference and apathy have been exposed and the process of reconciliation to God's ideal has begun. And last but not least, the unity within our church community was incredible. Oddly enough, when the body of Christ gets serious about seeking God’s face, petty differences melt away and the Bride begins to radiate the love of her Beloved. 

It is a very good thing. 

Now, pass the pancakes....